I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Randomize
