Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
