just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
As shirtless as possible
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
