I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize