I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
