He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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