there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize