Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
