What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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