You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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