guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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