When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
