No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
