Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
