how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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