Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
