Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
