TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
