We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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