o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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