i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
