i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
