thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
