dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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