I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize