but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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