Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
