I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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