Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Come see our sink grown plant.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
