can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
