girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
