he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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