the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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