will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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