she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
