people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
