just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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