I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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