I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My Sexting was not on an AP level
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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