i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
