I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
