I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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