Grow some girl-balls and come out already
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize