Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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