everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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