; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
