You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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