my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
