So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
being pregnant is like rehab
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
