i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
