I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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