why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
