ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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