Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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