Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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