And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
