OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
