Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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