I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
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I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
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There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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