I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?