first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I will pee on everything he values.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
