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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I thought you said his peep was too small

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.

  Fav 11 971 2052

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.

  Fav 4 1466 1682

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

  Fav 44 6669 1064

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  this weekend will be like the season finale to my life

  Fav 22 4373 1156

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I have got to meet this girl.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..

  Fav 9 1872 1250

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• (415): View more from California

  I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.

  Fav 2 1138 705

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.

  Fav 3 1430 655

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.

  Fav 2 787 1098

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.

  Fav 6 1487 599

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face

  Fav 1 348 416

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?

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