is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?