hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
