by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
